Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My bed smells like the plague
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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