WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
