You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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