oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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