do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So much rum. So many feels.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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