omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
