awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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