Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
