I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We got so high we made milksteak
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
