i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
pray to the hookup gods
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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