Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Randomize
