sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
