I didn't shave. On purpose
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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