The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
