I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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