The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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