Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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