Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize