i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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