Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
