There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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