Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
BRING THE BAGELS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
