On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize