____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
