They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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