woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
