drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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