Jerry, you need to find god
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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