It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
