This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's the barista slut.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
