dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The adults are the big ones right?
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