Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
