puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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