like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
