speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
