I need help removing her.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
