So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
