The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
