sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
