hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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