Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
