i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
