just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
