When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
