What did we do last night that was yellow?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
