thus making me awesome and them whores
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
