I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
