Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
