Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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