They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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